Title: “A very docile male”.
Author: Clara Pérez
3 characters:
- Samuel: Macho man
- Bartender: Samuel’s friend.
- Mara: Samuel’s wife.
Single Act
Setting: A canteen
Introduction: The bartender is cleaning the tables of the cantina, which is still closed, when Samuel arrives very animated.
Samuel (speaking loudly and very animated): Hello mate How’s it going? Pour me a drink, my throat is dry.
Bartender (making a face of few friends): Mate it’s 11 o’clock in the morning, the cantina is closed can’t you see I’m cleaning up?
Samuel (mocking his mate): My friend, you look like an old woman cleaning tables, hire a woman to clean, we men are not here to mop.
Bartender (smiling reluctantly): Stop talking nonsense, in town they say that you even make the beds when the lady get pissed.
Samuel (making an impressed face): Who said that? I’m a man, I don’t do old ladies’ things, that’s what God brought them into the world for, well, to serve us!
Bartender (shaking his head disapprovingly): You pretend to have stayed in the past, now with all this feminism and equality, the woman cleans if she wants to, if not, she puts her husband there, just like they put you there.
Samuel(annoyed): Look mate, you better serve me a drink and stop repeating the gossip of the people, in my house I am in charge, and if my wife doesn’t like it, she can put up with it, when a woman marries, she knows she has to obey her husband, otherwise she can stay single.
Bartender (laughing more heartily): How stupid you are, I’m sure you’ve come to spend your errand money, I don’t want any problems with Mara, so you’d better go run your errand and don’t come here to spend your money.
Samuel (raising his voice): And who told you that Mara can tell me what to do with the money? You can see that your wife has you on a very short leash, I pity you…
Bartender (mocking): Yes, mate, as I say, my wife brings me well subdued, at least she doesn’t hit me, we should be grateful for that.
Samuel: Pour me a drink, are you going to spend all morning talking nonsense instead of serving me?
Bartender: All right, but I’m not responsible, if she gets upset, you take the blame.
The bartender pours the drink and when he brings it close to Samuel a woman enters shouting his name.
Mara (shouting and in a threatening tone) Samuel! Can you tell me what the hell are you doing in the bar?
Samuel (petrified and with his eyes wide open in astonishment, still with his back turned, answers in a very low voice) Love, what are you doing here?
Mara (without stopping speaking loudly and very annoyed): That’s what I´m asking, what are you doing here? I sent you to buy the food for the pigs, and in the house there is a mountain of dishes to wash and you have to clean the yard, How beautiful! And the gentleman wasting his time.
Samuel (trying to recover his dignity): Well love, but you don’t do anything, you could at least wash the dishes.
Mara (indignant): What?! What did you say Samuel? And you pimp’s compadre
Bartender (excusing himself): No ma’am, don’t interfere with me, I was cleaning the bar and he came here alone.
Mara: I asked you, what did you say, Samuel?
Samuel (frightened): Nothing, my love.
Mara (taking his wallet and starting to hit Samuel) Get up from there and let’s go to the house, you scoundrel, you’ll see when we get there, move!
Samuel gets up trying to cover himself from Mara’s blows and the bartender laughingly watches them walk away.
Bartender (shouting for Samuel to hear and laughing at the same time): That’s right mate, don’t let yourself that you are the one in charge you are a alfa male!
THE END