Title: “An absurd incident”.
Author: Renny Loyo
4 Characters:
- Susana
- Betty
- Doctor
- Accountant
Act I
Susana sits in an armchair in a luxury clinic, waiting to be called. She is very naive. She speaks a little fast, as if chewing the words, she does it so that what she says is clearly understood. Betty, in front of her, sitting in the other armchair, already has her results in her hand. Betty has not yet read them. She looks nervously around. She doesn’t feel like talking. Betty is a woman of the world. Delicate, elegant and sophisticated. Haughty with a strong personality. Although now, she has mixed feelings, given the latest examinations of her illness. Susana suspects that something is wrong with Betty, she sees her lost and disoriented. Soft music fills the white room, where the patients are waiting. Betty reads a fashion magazine. Susana reads a pediatrics magazine.
Susana: The heat this season is very strong.
Betty: (Without looking at her) Yes, I went to a cold city, I needed to isolate myself from everything. I have always liked to travel and enjoy life in spite of everything.
Susana: Human warmth is also necessary, for people.
Betty: The mountain brings you closer to a powerful entity, I don’t know how to recognize it, I only know that I feel it, it is there in the strong breeze of the icy winds. I would like to travel again.
Susana: In my first pregnancy, ice cream was my whim, especially ice cream with vanilla and raw beans.
Betty: Raw is my reality. I have hit rock bottom. There is a way out with no return. I wish this would end, be the will….
Susana: (interrupts her) When my husband returns from his long journey of 10 years, my baby will be old enough to recognize him.
Betty: I have recognized my situation in all its crudeness. But this is beyond me. Still, I feel powerful. Blessed. Full of life.
Susana: Where he is, it’s summer. The trees die standing for lack of water.
Betty: Death when it comes is cruel, for it waits for you, it doesn’t get tired or intimidated, it knows that sooner or later it will have you. But I will defeat it. There are moments of weakness. I know I’m going to make it. Although the money…
Susana: (interrupts her) I have a premonition that my husband will arrive soon. I have written him about my baby, he is very happy. That’s how we had planned it. I can imagine everything he will plan for the baby.
Betty: My plan has failed, I will not get to know the grandchildren that I hope my little girl will give to mankind. These thoughts sometimes bring me down. But I always get up. And when I do it is because…
Susana: (interrupting her again) I get excited every time I feel the baby’s little kicks, I still don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy, well I do know, science has advanced so much, that it was already decided in the contract.
Betty: (Closing her eyes) I have decided that silence will be my best companion. Talking is a lot of noise around me. No one understands my sadness, why should I listen to nonsense I don’t want to hear? That’s why I like the mountains. My next trip will be ….
Susana: (interrupts her again) If he were here, I would talk to him about men’s things. I’d teach him how to kick a ball.
Betty: A man is waiting outside. My sadness overwhelms him. And I can give him nothing but despair. I can teach him nothing about life. But he gives me the strength I need to get up and that’s when… (Raises her arms)
Susana: Parents are very important for children. Talking to them from an early age is the way to educate them correctly. I always had my siblings to cheer me up every time I fell down.
Betty: My parents were never with me. So they never talked about the things I needed to know. Some things are inherited. I inherited family misfortune, the karma of the ancestors.
Susana: My family is very close. Everyone is cheerful. Sadness never appears on our faces. And when it comes, we celebrate it sitting at the table, we make up a dinner and it disappears.
Betty: If only I could disappear from this hustle and bustle. If I could start over and break the chains that make me suffer.
Susana: My husband tells me that he has to wear chains to be able to roll in the cold.
Betty: Chains and this cold in this room!
Susana: I’m warm!
Betty: I wish I had the warmth of everyone around me. But habit is coldness. (Looks at Susana, as if surprised) Ah, there you are.
Susana: Yes, I also realize that you have noticed my presence.
Betty: Presence is essential to be recognized.
Susana: When I saw you I knew that you were absorbed in your thoughts. An atmosphere of mystery was created around you that I could grasp immediately.
Betty: It is your presence, it haunts me and does not leave me. It waits impatiently for me until my time comes.
Susana: I’ve been waiting for an hour to be called. The doctor has to see my latest tests. Everything indicates that we are doing well.
Betty: He has called me, he hasn’t stopped calling me. Sometimes I hear her screaming. But I don’t pay attention to him.
Susana: My husband always calls me, the weather there is very bad. Even the bombs from the war can be heard over the line. He tells me he’s fine. But I suspect that not everything is perfect in a war.
Betty: If the world were perfect, the differences wouldn’t exist. Nor the pain, nor the fatigue, nor the weariness of this life.
Susana: Sometimes he tells me horrible things, that’s why I take painkillers to be able to sleep. I always dream of flying in pieces.
Betty: To fly, to fly high, I would like to see the earth from space and tell the pains of the world from above.
Susana: What can I do. One, the woman must fight with her man. If he has to face his enemies, I have to face his fears.
Betty: I’m afraid my life won’t last as long as I’d like it to.
Susana: Contracts are never fulfilled. They paint you little birds and then they come out with something else. My husband is a warrior. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He only fulfills the clauses of the contract.
Betty: How easy it is to end someone else’s life. But not everyone can do it. It’s like killing a tree, you have no scruples.
Susana: War leaves after-effects. Hatred incubates in your heart, reason fades into fixed ideas that are not even yours.
Betty: You don’t need to think to know that death is around you. That you were born with it, like a wet nurse, it doesn’t leave you.
Susana: Some people have bad luck. My husband tells me that he has seen bombs fall on the heads of soldiers.
Betty: If after death at least we let our ideas escape, the world would know what we think of others.
Susana: Besides, the issue of war comes from Aristotle. There are people who must serve others, this servitude serves their salvation.
Betty: I have prayed for years, and every day the salvation of my soul is near. Although already my spirit wanders through the consulting rooms refusing to leave what is natural.
Susana: Well-learned prayer is an encouragement to wounded soldiers, those who are maimed by the cruel toys of the saviors of homelands. My husband is a savior, with shrapnel and grenade, he brings peace to the convulsed world of the barbarians.
(Betty checks her receipts a little quietly)
Betty: What an outrage! I’ve spent a fortune on my health. My life and my silver have been plundered. I have been colonized by the learned scholars and the laboratories that manufacture poisons.
Susana: When you despise the good intentions of the wise, you are already placed in an inferior race. You speak from passion and not from reason. This is how it is known from antiquity, the origin of your slavery.
Betty: (Altered) I can’t stand it anymore! I’ve been waiting for four hours and they haven’t attended to me. Do they know that my accounts are already empty, is that why they have stopped being diligent with me?
Susana: The wise thing to do is to wait for them to consider it prudent to review your case. That is what I have learned from my husband every time he is prosecuted for reasons related to his work, they accuse him of murdering innocent people, but whoever defends himself cannot be called a murderer, nor an innocent person, everyone has a conscience for his actions.
Betty: (Getting up) I am going to protest! This is already unsustainable. They have emptied my policy, my credit cards and the contributions of my friends. They have made my hair disappear and have aged me about 30 years (She takes off her scarf and her shaved head can be seen).
Susana: 30 years in the dark, that is the capital punishment they intend to impose on my husband. Thank God, he has been acquitted. My prayers have had an effect. An innocent worker has been acquitted. He is just a contractor. Today war is honest work.
Betty: (Begins to cry) Why does this only happen to me?
Act II
(Out of a door comes a doctor with a chart, on it are medical reports. He looks at Betty)
Doctor: Mrs. Betty (Pause) I’m sorry to inform you that….
Betty: Yes, Doctor, I know, I’ve run out of money. But you know…
Susana: (interrupts) Doctor, in my case, I only come for routine. As you know, I am in my sixth month and so far I have had a normal pregnancy.
Doctor: Mrs. Susana, I’m sorry to tell you that your tests indicate a problem with your baby.
Susana: What?
Betty: You should at least give me the bills so I can file them on my taxes.
Doctor: Mrs. Betty… I’m sorry, I didn’t express myself correctly. Actually, my apology was for Mrs. Susana.
Betty: Don’t worry Doctor, say what you have to say.
Susana: Doctor, please speak clearly. I have to talk to my husband on the phone soon and I have to give him the news you intend to give me.
Doctor: Mrs. Susana, you have a complicated toxoplasmosis situation.
Betty: Doctor, are you going to keep me in this situation all day?
Doctor: Regarding your case, Mrs. Betty, there has been a mistake with your cancer. The clinic has decided to exonerate you of all your expenses incurred. You have reimbursed everything you have spent to your account.
Susana: Don’t worry about money, doctor. My husband has enough.
Betty: What happened, Doctor?
Doctor: There was an error in reading your exams.
Betty: What do you mean, what do you mean?
Doctor: The exams were never yours. There is another patient with your name and surname. She passed away an hour ago. But don’t worry, the clinic has decided to reward you with 100 thousand dollars so that you can recover your health and enjoy the rest of your life. You are actually a healthy person (hands her a piece of paper).
Betty: My God, it can’t be. Poor woman. How that lady must have suffered. A hundred thousand dollars!
Doctor: But don’t worry, now it’s your turn to live.
Susana: And what about my case? What are we going to do?
Doctor: Nothing, ma’am, just follow the medical procedures. Have you already been to the box office?
Susana: Of course, Doctor, I’m not like those ladies who complain about everything. And look how the clinic has rewarded you.
Doctor: Of course, in this clinic we are careful and we are interested in the patients’ happiness. Did you pay in Dollars or in foreign currency?
Susana: With foreign currency, Doctor, of course. Thank God, my husband is a successful businessman.
Doctor: By the way, how is the war going?
Susana: Very well, so far he has been paid for everything.
Doctor: That war is about to end.
Susana: That’s right, but my husband has branches in several continents. So he has work all year round.
Doctor: Excellent! Patients like you are what make this clinic an institution of a class of its own.
Susana: Thank you Doctor, wouldn’t you like to be my son’s godfather?
Doctor: With pleasure. Mrs. Susana (She takes his arm and they enter the office).
Betty: (To herself) Will I have time to spend all this money? (Pause) Thank you Doctor, I hope it will be enough to get my scalp back and travel around old Europe to see the fireworks of some little war.
Doctor: Good idea, Mrs. Betty. It must be exciting to see the projectiles cross the sky in search of bad people who must disappear so that the good people can live in peace and abundance.
Betty: Thank you doctor, I’ll bring you a little present when I get back, byee!
Act III
(From one of the consulting rooms comes out a man elegantly dressed with a notebook or accounting book).
Accountant: Doctor, we have found the real confusion in this matter.
Doctor: (As if annoyed) Let me see. (Pause) God! Mrs. Betty, there is no such confusion. Excuse me. There is a third patient named Betty, she has an ID number similar to yours. She lives at the same address as you. She is very healthy… And…
Susana: (interrupts) I don’t have toxoplasmosis.
Betty: Doctor. I don’t care about death anymore.
Doctor: There is no more money, Mrs. Betty.
Betty: It doesn’t matter. Death is a trip to paradise.
Doctor: Thank you, Mrs. Betty, for understanding this situation. Do you have a sister?
Susana: Twins. For God’s sake, I can’t take two. I will sue the clinic. The contract was for one.
Doctor: Don’t worry. One will live and one will die.
Susana: Oh, what a scare!
Betty: We are three sisters.
Doctor: Uss, what a scare. We thought it was the clinic’s fault. I am sorry to tell you that the clinic will proceed with justice to this confusion. You almost made us lose a hundred thousand dollars! You may leave now. And before you kick the bucket, we will see you in court. Bye, bye bye, Mrs. Betty.
Betty: (On her way out) There are always more decent ways to die. Now, it turns out I’m going to die a con artist. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be the one going to court, Doctor.
(The Doctor remains thoughtful, while Susanna gushes on about the future of the child to be born.)
The end.